As Petals Fall
by apiratesmile
Summary: Yohime always knew there were consequences for her decision to be with her lord. Her thoughts as she ages.


She counted his fingers first and then his toes. She ran a finger down his scrunched up nose and waited patiently for his eyes to open. When they finally did, she found herself staring into beautifully wide, amber eyes. They were deep and intense like his father's but the wildness had been replaced by the innocence of a newborn.

She heard her husband in the hall, pacing impatiently as the midwife barred his entry. She was silently grateful for the few extra moments she had alone with her son, the few moments where he was hers and only hers. Gently, she ran her fingers through his already unruly hair, admiring the dark tresses that were the only sign she had contributed anything to the making of this beautiful child.

"You are all your father, aren't you Rihan," she smiled wistfully. During her pregnancy she had wondered if she had cursed the child by selfishly falling in love with a yokai. A child born to a human and a yokai did not wholly belong anywhere. Would he feel lost in this world, she had wondered.

The door opened in a burst of wind announcing the Supreme Commander's entrance.

"Yohime I—" The Lord of Pandemonium stopped short as he spotted the small babe in her arms.

"Would you like to meet your son, Lord Ayakashi?" She asked lifting the bundle up proudly.

He nodded dumbly as he came to kneel beside her. Carefully, she laid the newborn into his arms. A glowing feeling erupted in her chest as she watched her lord's eyes widen in wonder.

"He's perfect," he whispered.

She had never felt such pride before. Suddenly, all the fear and doubt she felt melted into the soft morning air. It did no matter to him that their child had human blood in his veins. The boy would be well loved and protected.

AbAbAbAbAbAbAbAbAbAbAbAb

Yohime rested quietly beneath the cherry blossom tree, lost in the memory. As cherry blossom petals fell she caught herself wondering what her son would be like long after she was gone. It was strange to think of death in a household that death rarely entered, but lately that seemed to be the only thing on her mind.

She knew they all saw but pretended not to notice. Her movements had become slower and her bones had begun to ache. The sheen of her hair had faded, replacing her glossy locks with gray strands. Time was beginning to slip through her wrinkled fingers and, no matter how hard the Supreme Commander tried to ignore it—that would not change.

So many years had passed since she married her lord, but she knew to him they were barely more then the length of a breath. She wondered if he would find someone else when she had passed. In terms of yokai he was still young and in his prime, much too young to be held back by an old hag.

She knew he slowed down in her presence, but she pretended not to notice. He would walk carefully beside her, his long strides reigned into a short shuffle, and watched her with guarded eyes.

After so many years she would have claimed to know every thought that passed through those amber eyes but the look he gave her now was foreign. Was it pity? Resentment? Pain?

In her more vulnerable moments, she would wonder over why he would still lie beside her every night. How could he bring himself to hold her so close and kiss her so passionately when her skin sagged and her beauty had faded years ago. She had given him an heir. What more use could she be to him?

"Are you alright, mother?" A curious voice asked beside her.

She looked up with a small smile to reassure her only child, who hovered worriedly over her.

"I am fine," she assured, picking off a petal that had landed delicately on her silver bun. "Just tired."

Rihan frowned at this, a look of worry tugging at the corner of his eye.

"Your father was looking for you," she said.

"Did the old man say what he wanted?" he asked with annoyance.

"You should address your father more respectfully," she sighed, initiating their age old argument.

Rihan smiled down at her indulgently but they both knew nothing would change.

"What happened?" She smiled sadly. "You used to worship your father."

The young man shrugged, moving to sit beside her with his back against the trunk. "I guess I grew up."

"So now you're too old for your family?" She asked.

Rihan turned to her sharply. "Not for you, mother."

She pulled him gently into her arms, holding his head on her lap like she used to do when he was little. Almost fifty years had passed since his birth but Rihan looked no older then twenty.

"Is it hard," he asked suddenly, "being human?"

Her hand paused as she stroked his hair.

"Sometimes," she said finally. "I do envy a yokai's zeal. Even when they've been alive for over five hundred years."

"I have heard of a stone that can make a person live forever," he said.

"Rihan, you will live far longer then any human. What would you need such a thing for?"

"For you!" he said earnestly.

She could not help but laugh. "These old bones were not meant to last forever, darling."

"You are not old," he insisted.

She could not help but laugh harder. "I am nearly seventy. When my grandmother was fifty I thought she was ancient."

Her son looked ready to argue but the sharp bark of his name grabbed his attention. The pair turned to see the Lord of Pandemonium walk towards them.

"When are you doing lying around?" He snapped. "You should be practicing."

"Practicing!" The younger man grumbled. "I should be running this clan already!"

"When I wish for my clan to fall into ruin I will let you know." The Supreme Commander snorted.

"You're just scared that I will be a better leader," he smirked. "And then you will have to go into retirement."

"Retire?" He scoffed. "What? Just so I can be pulled out of retirement when you screw up?"

Rihan's grin only widened. "Just wait old man. I'm going to be the greatest leader there ever was."

The young man reluctantly stood before striding off.

Nurarihyon proudly watched him go before muttering _brat_ under his breath.

"You have every right to be proud of him," she smiled knowingly.

"I know," he sighed, taking Rihan's place with his head falling gently on her lap. She stroked his bangs, wondering at how she could still be fascinated by the moment where the light gold changed to midnight black. "He will be a good leader."

"When he was born, I worried," she confessed. "He looked so small and fragile I worried the world would swallow him up."

"Because he was half human," he surmised, his eyes closed contentedly.

"Did you ever worry?" She asked.

"I still worry." Nurarihyon sighed with eyes still closed.

"Really? I have never seen you worry before."

He gave a slight nod. "I worry every day about keeping him safe."

"Good," she smiled. "I will rest easier in my grave knowing that."

Nurarihyon hissed, his eyes snapping open. "Don't talk like that."

"It's going to happen, my lord," she said. "Whether we speak of it or not."

"You act so calmly about it."

"I knew the consequences of marrying you, even if you did not."

His eyes narrowed to slits.

"When you asked me to marry you, in that instant I saw what it would be like. I saw our children as hanyous, neither belonging in my world or yours and my beauty fading as yours remained. I saw you and our descendants among the living while I waited among the dead. Selfishly, I agreed to marry you because I could only think of my brief happiness and not the pain you would have to suffer as I grew old."

"You think I suffer?" He said, the words almost choking him.

"Surely, you did not expect to have to care for me in my old age? Did you not expect my beauty to leave me?"

"What has left you?" He asked, furiously. "I still see love and wonder in your eyes. There is still tenderness in your touch. Your great kindness has not faded. All that I love is still there."

"But sometimes I see a look in your eyes when you are near and I wonder if you resent me for getting old."

"What you see is me trying to hide my fear." He sighed, lowering his eyes, unable to look up at her.

"Fear?"

"I am scared to imagine what the long years will be like without you." He confessed, his voice uncharacteristically gruff.

"You will not be without me," she said, pushing back his bangs to kiss his forehead. "You will see me in Rihan and his children and their descendants."

"You know I would do nothing differently," he said raising his head to look up at her. He looked at her with the same wonder as the night they had met. No one had ever look at her in such a way before. She had seen admiration, wonderment and lust but never such love.

"Neither would I."

She passed in her sleep that night with her lord holding her tight. He did not move when he heard her last breath, he simply sat there cradling her in his arms.


End file.
